Air travel: the good, the bag and the ugly

by Jo-ann Hodgson in At home on 27.08.08

Ryanair and Gatwick airport have served me well over the last six months. But airport-related frustration on my latest trip made me even more grateful that the Irish boyfriend has decided to relocate.

Full of nerves about meeting Irish’s clan, and stealing him from them for the UK, I decided to relax in Gatwick’s non-too-premier drinking hole whilst I waited for my delayed Friday evening flight. No sooner had I been handed my over-priced vodka and coke, however, that an automated voice tried to make itself heard over the bustle. “Something about a fire alarm…”

This was the last thing anyone wanted to hear. In the absence of any direction from airport staff, I joined the rabble of holiday-makers and business people reluctantly heading for the fire escapes. Almost immediately I regretted abandoning my drink, as it seemed the majority of people had opted to take theirs on a little adventure.

And any ideas I’d had about a swift and professional exit plan were soon quashed. Traipsing out of the building, with no information as to what was going on, we eventually found ourselves out on the tarmac.

An air of playground excitement hit as travellers realised that they may be able to get away with a sneaky fag. But a high-vis clad matron tried to put an end to this. “Anyone caught smoking will be thrown off their flight,” she barked - which in many cases just led to smokers drawing on tricks learnt in the school toilets.

After a frustrated half an hour outside, and many panicked phone calls, we were let back in. My flight was an hour late - it could have been worse. It could have been €400 worse.

In excess

Despite huge increases to the price of fuel, Ryanair haven’t increased their flight prices. So how do they come close to breaking even? Our return trip was to provide the answer.

Irish had packed economically for his relocation, with only a small suitcase and a haversack’s worth of items making the grade. However, after check-in I was handed a slip of paper by a decidedly grumpy-looking boyfriend, who didn’t seem to trust himself to speak. The paper was a receipt for his excess baggage - €400.

Oh yes, each Ryanair passenger is permitted to check in up to a maximum of 3 bags with the combined weight of 15kgs, for which they must pay, of course. The excess baggage fee is £12/€15 per kilo. This is how Ryanair make their money.

Conversation in the queue to pay the excess was limited. I decided the best course of action was not to protest “but they didn’t feel that heavy”, but to stroke the financially-injured one’s head.

Once through security, however, single syllables were back on the cards. “What do you want to do now?”

“Drink.”

IMAGE by Flickr user Idle Type