Flowers in the dark

by Jo-ann Hodgson in At home on 07.08.08

My last flat had a garden, my new flat has dungeons. What can one grow in dungeons?

It’s not as odd as it sounds. No, actually, it is. I live in a basement flat, with French doors in the kitchen and living room leading out into two under-pavement vaults.

There is also a Phil Collins vinyl nailed to one of the stone walls which was there when we moved in, and I’m sure will still be there when we move out. It’s ‘No Jacket Required’ in case you were wondering - don’t ask me.

I expect the dungeons, as my flatmate and I affectionately call them, were once used to store coal, food or wine. They are now used to store my cat’s litter tray.

Although there’s little-to-no natural light in three-quarters of the flat, my bedroom gets a good bit of sunshine and leads out onto another ’strange area’ between the flat and someone’s garage.

It’s all a far cry from the garden I struggled to keep weed-free in my last abode. But I do miss the greenery, if not the uncontrollable nature of it.

So what will grow in the dark flat and its strange areas, apart from mould?

The narrow- or willow-leaf fig apparently loves deep shade and must be protected from frost and freezing weather. Shade is plentiful in the flat, and we have central heating. That could be a goer.

Boasting white and yellow flowers, the Gardenia is also a shade-lover. But as it is native to tropical and subtropical regions, it may be one for the humid boiler or ‘laundry’ room.

Another shade-tolerant houseplant, the Dumb Cane, could give the flat a bit of a tropical rainforest feel. However, a bit of further investigation reveals that it hides a more sinister edge. The sap from the large-leafed plant was used by slave owners as a form of torture, and was even considered by Heinrich Himmler as a poison to sterilise war prisoners. With the capacity to make the human tongue swell and to kill children, I’m thinking the Dumb Cane may not be house-cat compatible.

But I could give a Christmas cactus an indoor home. The spineless - literally, they’re not particularly cowardly as far as I’m aware - cactus species blooms with pink, red, orange and white flowers if given ‘long uninterrupted dark periods’. I can certainly deliver that.

And there we have the solution: Cacti. I used to have them in my room at home and even I managed to keep them alive. They don’t need too much light or water, they come in many shapes and sizes, and with that edge of spiky danger they’re more exciting than ordinary houseplants. And I can position them in front of things that the cat isn’t allowed to touch. Perfect.

IMAGE by Flickr user gailf548