Relationships on the line

by Jo-ann Hodgson in At home on 30.07.08

Ringing abroad, as I’ve found out since bagging myself an Irish boyfriend, does not come cheap.

Since Irish and I only see each other once or twice a month, we like to keep in touch via the odd phone call. But speaking often means phone bills that make me want to weep.

So Skype seemed the perfect solution to our cash-flow problems. “You can make free calls over the internet for as long as you like, to wherever you want”, it promised - where do I sign?

Once Skype was downloaded, and we were equipped with our Britney Spears live/call-centre headsets, the phone symbol was green for go. But the relationship-defining conversations we had planned to have via this wonder of modern technology were somewhat hindered.

On first attempt Irish came across to be repeating everything he said. Perhaps I’ve watched too much Dr Who, but I began to fear he may be ‘ghosting’, where an impression of the conscious remains and last words repeat before the human is ultimately ‘switched off’. This freaked me out so much I had to end the call.

With this problem ironed out, the second call was set up. But this time I was a mere whisper. “Hello, can you hear me?” “yes, I can, how are you?”, “hello, can you hear me okay?” “yes, perfectly, can you hear me?”, “hello, are you there?” “YES, I’m here”, was not the kind of meaningful communication I had hoped for.

A few more exchanges like this and we were both so irritated that Skype had to be abandoned once more. And a pricey mobile-phone call autopsy was required to establish what was going wrong.

I couldn’t help but think that the ‘Skype-ready’ tag on the headset boxes was a bit of a fib.

However, as my mother so eloquently commented when I told her of my new romance, “the world is global now”. By which I think she meant “relationships can now exist through various modes of communication technology, Jo-ann.”

Indeed, friendships can be founded, seduction performed and love nurtured over e-mail, text, calls, web-cams, Facebook - the list goes on. But connection can be lost, and human contact should not go under-rated. Just look at the effect dodgy wireless is having on the BT couple.

Things aren’t so hot for Mr & Mrs BT right now, but thankfully, as Irish recently decided to move to the UK, the two of us will soon be able to replace the receiver on robotic conversations.

IMAGE by Flickr user Creo Que Soy Yo