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So I’m off to Glastonbury festival next week, for my sixth stint in the Somerset countryside. Why is it that all the “guide to Glastonbury” and “top tips for festival goers” articles out there are so rubbish? “Do bring your tickets,” offers the BBC, helpfully. Other no-brainers on the list include: tent, sleeping bag and toilet roll. Meanwhile The Times advises: “Take a map, and remember where you pitched your tent.” Gee, thanks for the insight. Even The Guardian seems to be capable only of stating the obvious: “It’s easier putting up a tent with someone else, so find yourself a partner.”
So, without further ado, here are my top tips for surviving Glastonbury, or any other large music festival – and these ones, I assure you dear reader, are actually useful:
You’d have to be a complete muppet not to take a pair of wellies with you to a music festival. But it’s a little-known fact that wearing a pair of proper, super-comfy hiking socks such as these can be the difference between sanity and madness at a really muddy festival. They make wearing a pair of wellies a joy. Most people find they are having a “bad hair day” within 48 hours of getting to a festival. This genius no-rinse shampoo is one of the wonders of modern science. Indespensible. Ladies, may I recommend a packet of “feminine wipes“. You know why. Picture the scene: it’s dark, you’re feeling a bit “merry”, you’ve just picked your way through the obstacle course of tent pegs and guy ropes and finally found your tent and got yourself tucked up in your sleeping bag. You drift off. An hour later you wake up with a bladder the size of a football. The nearest toilet is in the next field. The solution: a large, empty mineral water bottle and a large funnel. That may sound icky if you’re reading this in the comfort of your own mod-conned home. But in the small hours, in a tent, in a field somewhere in Somerset, it makes perfect sense.
Now, back to the weather forecast and my own personal mantra: it’s not going to rain, it’s not going to rain, it’s not going to rain.
IMAGE by Flickr user Sachab
An excellent piece of advice. I shall return later in the year to remind myself of what I need.
Thank you.
Glastonbury weather forecast now available http://bit.ly/1RyTVc (via @jonaths, @bengoldacre)
Take a Shewee! It’s much better than just any old funnel. It’s specially designed for situations like you are talking about when you are in your tent and don’t want to trek all the way across the field to the toilets.
It’s also great for when you do go to the portable toilets as you don’t have to squat over them, you can stand up and not get anywhere near the horrible seats!
You can buy them at http://www.shewee.com, or the stand Cosy Camper sell them at glastonbury!